Absolutely nothing funny happened on the way there

I never watched the movie, nor have I seen the musical, but I kept thinking of just the title A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum yesterday when we walked the distance from the Colosseum  to the Forum in Rome.  

The day started in Sorrento with a breakfast on an outside patio overlooking the Mediterranean Sea.  While I did’t make it to the coastline in my swimsuit, I am happy that Cas and I headed to the water and stuck our feet in when we were on Capri.  Nevertheless, we said arrivederci to the water and the beautiful views that it brings, hopped in our bus and headed to Rome.  We stopped along the way for a little food and a bathroom break, because when we got there, we had a walking tour of the Colosseum and the Forum.  There are certain things that give you perspective in this world and make you think of your very small place in history.  When you stand in the Colosseum and look at something that has stood for nearly two thousand years, you get some perspective.  

I love the safety of a group when traveling to places like these.  There are people everywhere, there is lots to take in, and it’s really, really easy to lose your way.  The problem with a group, though, is we are not always on the same page.  It was pretty hot out, and some of our peers were ready for some air conditioning and relaxation about five minutes into the Colosseum tour. While it lasted a bit longer than that, and while Cas and I could have physically carried on, my attention span is kind of shot, and I suspect his is getting close.  We have taken in so much information over the past two weeks that my brain may be rapidly approaching full.  It’s going to take a really charismatic tour guide to break through my wall of overload, and yesterday, John Paolo was just okay.

We all got to our Rome hotel at around 4:30 and checked in.  The first order of business for me was to wash off my feet and ankles.  It’s a simple thing, but it really helps me feel like a human again.  I wear very good sandals when walking around in the summer, and Rome isn’t exactly sterile.  Soap is my best friend when we get back to a shower or a tub.  We spent a little time cleaning up and a just little time just laying flat on our backs and enjoying what has been the best mattress on the trip so far.  (That’s been kind of hit-or-miss, and the bathrooms have been pretty interesting, as well.)  

Cas and I didn’t rest long, though.  Our tour director lives in Rome and said she would be in the lobby at a table answering questions and helping to arrange dinner plans at 5:30, so we marched down to talk with Mizia and ask her where we could go with Jeff and Reema as well as our new friends Nicci and Jon that would be close too the hotel.  Jeff took a not-so-funny step on the way to the forum, and he wanted to give his ankle a little break from long hikes, and Nicci had some swelling in her feet that needed to subside a little.  Hey- it’s a lot of walking and a pretty good amount of heat.  

Mizia did not let us down.  She picked out a place a few blocks from the hotel (right across the street from a section of the aincent aqueduct, of course) that gave me and Cas a full meal, a liter of wine, a dessert each and a shot of Limoncello to finish it off for something silly like 65 Euros.  With the current exchange rate being nearly one-to-one, it is hard to fathom a meal like that for as low as 65 dollars per person in the US.  Italians do food very well, and it doesn’t cost very much at all.  

Today, we’re getting a slow start.  There is nothing official on our radar until our trip to the Vatican at 12:45, and we slept in for the first time in weeks.  I suspect they deliberately design that into the tour so people have a chance to breathe and see just one or two more amazing things before heading home.  Cas and I each packed one pair of long pants, specifically for this Vatican visit.  We had several churches we saw on the way that had a “no shorts” policy, but they didn’t seem to mind men in longer shorts, and they were cool with me tying a scarf around my waist to enter.  This time, there’s no room for error.  You have to cover your knees and men are absolutely forbidden from wearing hats.  Hey- it must be a Catholic thing.  Also, Vatican City is technically another country, so we have to follow their laws and rules.  Even if we’re Protestants.  

I just hope nothing too funny happens on the way there.

Enjoy some photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/PR6jn1ZzhDS6cx8q8

Capri Sun

Work with kids long enough, and the first thing you think of when you hear the word Capri is a sugary juice drink in a metallic pouch with a plastic straw that you jab into the pouch.  Not a soul we saw on the island of Capri was drinking a Capri Sun, though.  You’d think there would at least be one vendor selling them for novelty’s sake.  

Capri was, apparently, the domain of goats long, long ago.  Now, it appears to be an island of three things- tourists, people who need you to see how pretty they are and stray cats.  In fact, we’ve seen a few stray cats in Sorrento, one in Pompeii and a couple in Capri.  Honestly, I would have found the goats more interesting. We got an early start today and headed to the ferry boat that took us to Capri from Sorrento.  Off the ferry, we met up with our local guide, Francesca.  She was very good, and the first place she took us was a private boat with a captain named Vincenzo.  He kicked off his flip-flops and with bare feet took us all around the rocky coastline, showing us the different grottoes and features on the island.  It was gorgeous.  

The day honestly could have ended there, and we would have been happy, but Francesca took us up on a funicular This was our second funicular on this trip and our third ever, so we’re getting to be pretty used to these things.  Up we went, and on to the walking tour.  Fun fact, there is no shade up top- no trees to speak of are growing, so it’s a lot of Capri Sun.  We saw some great views, then we were kind of herded to a restaurant for lunch.  Our local guide assured us the food was good and the prices were reasonable, and most important all, that they had room for our whole group.  It was pretty mediocre, if I’m being honest.  Next time a local guide is that adamant about a restaurant for a whole group, I think we’ll make our own way.  

After the restaurant, we were given time to shop.  Cas and I aren’t much for shopping especially when directed to do so, so we wandered around in the afternoon sun, looking for spaces with less people in them.  When we found what I assume is some resident’s alley, we didn’t see any other humans for a whole five minutes.  It was kind of amazing.  We really could have cut an hour out of the time we were up there and been just as happy.  When it was time to take the funicular back down, we were packed in a crowded, hot space, waiting to board, when a guide from a different tour got everyone’s attention and said that a song was written to inspire people to use funicular car.  He asked everyone to clap, then he sang Funiculi Funicula quite beautifully.  I recorded a little audio, and I will put it here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mpVi_AxTid_UjRLyJWMGukZEnesau_VZ/view?usp=drivesdk

When we got back on the ferry, then back on the shuttle and finally, back to the hotel, we all kind of went our separate ways to cool off and catch a quick nap.  Jeff and Reema organized a shuttle, and Cas and I went with them to the main square of Sorrento for dinner.  We wanted to walk around in the city proper, and we just hadn’t done that yet.  We had a lovely meal at a very relaxed pace, did a little wandering and headed back to the shuttle meetup point.

Tomorrow, we have a very, very early departure for Rome.  We have to get out of Sorrento before the morning rush hour makes it nearly impossible to travel the roads, and when we get to town, we have a nearly immediate walking tour that includes the Colosseum.  Rome is our last stop.  When we get all done there, we head back home and get back to our lives.  For now, we’re zipping up our luggage and getting ready for one last spot.  Good night.  

And here, again, are our photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/PR6jn1ZzhDS6cx8q8

When life hands you lemons

There was a pretty average pop song almost ten years ago called Pompeii.  The chorus went, “The walls kept tumbling down in the city that we love.”  I had some music on in my classroom one day at lunch or something, and some of my students were really enjoying that particular song.  The popularity of the song coincided with the release of a movie by the same name.

One of the students who was in my classroom at the time was a boy named Mike.  Evidently, Mike thought the song had been the sole inspiration for that film.  When he asked me if I was aware that there would soon be a movie by the same name, he seemed surprised that I guessed the topic.  He said, “Did you know they are making a movie about this song?”  I couldn’t help myself- I had to say, “Let me guess- is there a volcano?”  I swear, Mike said, “Oh, have you seen it?”

I didn’t have the heart to say, “lucky guess.”  That’s the thing about being a teacher- you can make a few jokes, but you have to stop short of being a complete jerk.  

Yesterday morning, we got up, had a very quick breakfast and hopped in our bus.  We have had the same bus driver the whole time on this trip, and he has been amazing.  His name is Mauricio.  He can unflinchingly handle the elements of Italian traffic that I find terrifying, and as we get closer to Rome, I am grateful that our tour company has employed him.  There are apparently some very strict rules regulating those in his profession, as well.  Evidently, tour buses have an electronic record of the speeds they travel, and if he were to be puled over in traffic, the police could check his records to see if he had been speeding all day.  Additionally, drivers are strictly regulated as to the number of hours they can work per day.  The long haul from Assisi to Pompeii apparently pushed Mauricio over the line, so we had a substitute driver come in and take us up the many, many twisty switchbacks to our hotel.  He was good, but I really have developed a lot of fondness and trust for Mauricio.  No worries, we get him back today.  

When we got to Pompeii, we had a two hour walking tour scheduled.  It was very interesting, and a lot more detailed than my previous understanding of the city.  We saw how the roads were organized, what shops looked like, how both the rich and the poor lived, and some of the decorations that amazingly survived the blast.  

The famous plaster casts that everyone really remembers are in a museum.  The people who had a hand in excavating Pompeii realized that the falling ash landed on people and animals, either burning or suffocating them to death.  One of the people years later who was digging out the city saw that those cavities once contained a person who had since decayed, leaving a gap in the volcanic ash.  This guy injected plaster into the gaps, waited for it to dry, then dug out the shape of the people who had once been there.  Kind of a remarkable idea, if you ask me, and it was jarring to see plaster shapes of people trying to make it through what I am certain is a scary death.  

After our two hours walking around in Pompeii, we had our substitute bus driver come to take us up the mountain.  I know that generations of American mothers have worried over generations of American kids who want a motorcycle or a scooter, but the ones who should actually worry are the Italian moms.  Wow.  There were scooters who squeezed between buses on small roads.  There were scooters that snuck over to the wrong side of the road to creep past cars, only returning to the proper side seconds before pending doom.  Italian scooter riders are a whole other kind of crazy.  I loved riding my motorcycle, but put me on one here- hey, I have too much to live for.  

When we got to the hotel, we had a very nice dinner with a lemon cake, and we all just stood up afterwards and walked outside to watch the gorgeous sunset.  I am sure this is old hat to those who live here, but we don’t watch the sun set over the Mediterranean very often.  When something like that is in front of you, you take the opportunity.  

Today, we have a trip to Capri.  It should be amazing.  It blows my mind that this is a Monday, and people here are headed off to work, but that is most certainly true.  

For us, it’s Capri followed by whatever hijinks we get up to in Sorrento, then it’s off to Rome.  A week from today, I have a work-related Zoom meeting and I have to be an adult again, but right now, I am sitting on a balcony with the sun coming up in Sorrento, wondering if I got a good recipe for Limoncello from the hotel bartender last night.  I want to give it a try when we get home, so I have something new to make when life hands me lemons.  

Here are our many photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/PR6jn1ZzhDS6cx8q8

Italian Suit

Today started way too early.  If you go to sleep after trying to make sure no wine goes to waste, any next day would start too early.  Nevertheless, Cas and I met up with our folks at the breakfast table so we could head to Perugia.  A fair number of people on our tour took the day off of the optional adventure and hung buy the pool or got a massage.  The thing is, I wanted to see Perugia, and it was pre-paid.  I suspect lots of people on our excursion today had that same conversation.  

Perugia is a town that was built and rebuilt.  The Medieval castle was used as a foundational structure for the Renaissance structure that rested on top of it, which was all plopped down in a town that was originally Etruscan.  All in all, pretty great.  It’s kind of weird to compute that when you are walking along a stone passageway- this pathway has seen feet for thousands of years and will see thousands more.  I am a blip on the radar.  Makes you feel a little small.  

One of the things we had to do with our free time after the official tour stopped was purchase a swimsuit for Cas.  His suit- the one he loves in a really pretty color of blue- is at home.  Mine made it here, but alas, we always forget something.  Nevertheless, he went to a Perugian swimwear shop today and purchased a new suit.  We walked out with a relatively small bag with a pretty standard pair of swim trunks, and I commended him on his wise purchase of an actual Italian suit.  I doubt I will stop making that joke anytime soon.  

After the touring and the shopping trip for the Italian suit, we had a nice lunch.  Every time we have a large group dinner, it feels like the restaurants poke us into a small, hot room.  I suspect that’s the only place most of them have that would accommodate that many people, but still it’s a lot of people and not a lot of moving air or elbow room.  

Still, a great afternoon, followed by the debut of Cas in his new Italian suit.  (See, I am going to make that joke forever!)  We went to the hotel pool and had a relaxing time. After a while in the sun and the water, we all headed back to our respective rooms to dry off.  One of the people on our tour recommended a place to have dinner that was not too far down the road on foot.  We walked there along what turned out to be a slightly perilous path, but we were rewarded with a really great dinner.  We had wine and pizza, followed by a shot of Limoncello. It was just about perfect.  That’s when Cas noticed the sunset.  We have spent the better part of the past hour watching the sun go down.  

Tomorrow, we move on to Sorrento by way of Pompeii.  It is a pretty long travel day with a good amount of bus time.  We should get a few chapters read in our books and a couple of crossword puzzles completed.  We have seven more days left until we’re home, and I am afraid it won’t be enough.  Better enjoy it all while we’re here.  

In the meantime, enjoy our photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/PR6jn1ZzhDS6cx8q8

The patron saint of the tourist

Saints are plentiful if you are a Catholic.  I was raised Protestant, so I am always surprised when I discover the sheer number of things that have a patron saint.  There’s a patron saint of comedians, one for gamblers- there is a patron saint for anesthesiologists.  Catholics can be very specific when they are talking saints.  We are in Assisi, home of Saint Francis.  We arrived here on one of our more scenic drives and had a walking tour of the town, and more specifically, the church.  Saint Francis was really into modesty, poverty, and living a not-so-flashy life.  He wrote a will of sorts, according to our guide, asking that anything built in his honor would be modest and austere.  Having walked though the basilica that bears his name, I can tell you that those who came after him failed spectacularly at honoring his wishes.  It’s a properly fancy church with stained glass, marble and many, many frescoes.  Oops.  

There are several saints who are specifically assigned to travelers, but none specifically assigned to tourists.  Misia, our tour director, said she would write to the Pope and tell him what hotel and which room each of us was occupying so we could be canonized, should one of us become the patron saint of tourists.  I don’t think Cas and I are eligible.  He’s a Protestant, too.  It’s okay- I doubt either of us craves the spotlight that would put on us- maybe someone else can be the saint of the tourists.  

When we left the basilica, we took off for our beautiful hotel, nestled in the hills of the Umbria region.  Our hotel is an agroturismo hotel.  It’s a new piece of vocabulary for me, but it’s pretty much a farm-to-table place.  They grow the vegetables they serve and such, so when I say we had dinner at the hotel, it wasn’t because we lacked creativity.  Sure, it was one of our included dinners on our trip, but it was also really, really good.  One of our fellow tourists was concerned when the waiter came around to collect the plates, and she guarded her chicken admirably.  Hey, it was that good.  Our table also became the spot where the other tables deposited their wine on the way out.  Each group (and there were three or four large tables) had a few bottles of wine.  What they didn’t finish, they all seemed to drop off with us- meaning we had a rather impressive collection of half-full bottles by the time the dining room was empty.  From there, we all managed to top off a glass and head to one of the terraces.  Our hotel is called La Terrazza, so there are a few.  If you get a chance, sit on a terrace in Assisi and have a glass of wine- totally worth it.  

Today, we have a trip to Perugia, and that gets rolling in just over an hour, so I’m off to get ready.  

For now, enjoy a photo of what things look like when you’re walking through Assisi.  These folks see castles and basilicas every day- what a town to live in- 

Here are the rest of our photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/PR6jn1ZzhDS6cx8q8

Follow the way

So, yesterday, we went to Siena and San Gimignano. I was having sincere difficulties pronouncing San Gimignano. I listened to Cas say it a few times, and decided it was best if I considered the word as a pairing of people named Jim and Yano. San Jim and Yano. Follow me for more life hacks.

We got up really early yesterday- our tour director actually had the hotel start breakfast service 15 minutes before the usual time so we could get the early start. It was the smartest thing. Literally everything we did had us walking out in the shade as other, larger groups of people arrived in nearly direct sunlight. Misia is a genius. Or maybe, she just doesn’t want us to bake under the famous Tuscan sun.

We did a walking tour of Siena with a local guide. Her name was Donatella. She was dressed in white with perfectly matched accessories that were somehow orange, which, of course, went with the hair scarf she had tied around her head. Misia uses a telescoping stick with a scarf tied to the top, as many tour guides do, to give tour-goers an elevated focal point to follow in a crowd. It feels a little silly to do it that way, but it really works. Donatella refused it, saying she talks so much with her hands that she may inadvertently assault someone.

The thing about local guides is that they’re experts in the one place or thing you’re seeing. We had a guide just for the academy who showed us David. We had a guide who walked us through Florence. We’ve had guides on different trips before, and they all seem to have a shorthand way to tell us to get a move on. In Spain, we were particularly fond of the guide that kept saying, “come, come!” On this trip, we had one who told us to “follow the way,” but it seems that the most commonly repeated tour guide giddy-up is “this way.” It doesn’t sound that interesting, but they don’t exactly all talk unaccented American English. In fact, they almost all seem to say it like deece way. It’s become a thing Cas and I say around the house, and Italy is reinforcing it.

The Siena tour was fabulous, and it wrapped as the day was getting hotter. New bus loads of tourists were arriving, and we were strolling out. Next stop, San Jim and Yano. I mean San Gimignano. There, we had a very nice lunch followed by a trip to the place reported to have the best Gelato in all of Italy. I have never been a fanatic about pistachio, but everyone says it’s legendary there, and it simplified a frantic selection process to just get the most legendary thing in the best ice cream shop. No regrets.

The last stop on our day-long adventure was a vineyard. We had a wine tasting at a beautiful vineyard in the Tuscan countryside. If you ever have the opportunity to do that, oh my gosh, do it. They served us six different kinds of wine, which, of course, were accompanied by an order form and a pen, in case you get any big ideas. We didn’t order anything, but we sure did have a great time. The bus ride back to town was a little livelier- as you might imagine, and after that, we set out with Jeff and Reema and our new friends Nicci and Jon for dinner. We had a restaurant all picked out, and when we got there, they stuck us in a corner by the bathroom where the air flow never went. The food was amazing, but just as we were getting into it, the waiters started pushing together many small tables into one large one. Uh-oh. If I had to guess, it looked like a table for about 20 people, and for some reason, all but two of them were men. I’m pretty sure someone there was smoking indoors, and the heat in the back of the room didn’t improve. The men in our group valiantly offered to pay the check while the ladies went to the sidewalk for fresh air. It felt like a pretty long time, but eventually, all three of our dinner dates emerged.



That was it for the evening, too. Lots to see and do yesterday- many stops along the road, but it all works out if you follow the way.

Here are our photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/PR6jn1ZzhDS6cx8q8

David

Yesterday morning, we started off from the hotel, all in a long column of tourists, toward the Duomo.  We were headed to meet up with a local guide, Leticia, who has lived in Florence her whole life.  She said she had a little extra time on her hands during the pandemic (as I suspect most people in the tourism industry did), and she traced her family records back for some insane number of generations.  She comes from a long line of Florentine people.  Apparently, this is done through baptism records.  She took us through town, to the Ponte Vecchio, which is Italian for Old Bridge.  It just sounds so much more interesting and romantic to say Ponte Vecchio.  Everything sounds more interesting in Italian.  I work as a school librarian.  In Italian, a librarian is a bibliotecaria.  See?  Sounds better.  

From the old bridge, we wandered, learning all about the impressive Italians entombed in the Basilica of Santa Croce and the marvel of architecture that is the massive terra cotta dome of the Duomo itself.  When that tour ended, Cas and I wandered until we found the perfect spot to eat lunch.  We were seated right next to the air conditioner, but facing the street in a very good restaurant.  They served what I suspect is Italy’s favorite drink, the Aperol Spritz.  We must have had a bad one in Como, because they're pretty good.  We’re gonna have to make those at home.  I had a salad, which doesn’t sound particularly Italian, but it was a Caesar salad, if that helps.  Honestly, I wanted a bowl of lettuce after so much amazing pasta.  From there, we rejoined our tour group and marched to the Academia.  I am sure the Italian tour guides love to pretend that anyone comes to the Academia to see all the art and other stuff, but honestly, we’re all there for David.  Of course.  They display it at the middle of everything, as they should, but let’s not fool ourselves that anything else in the building is as interesting.  

I had seen David once before, a few decades ago, but I forget how impressive things are sometimes.  My grandmother saw him and wrote a poem about the detail.  She had specifically been interested in the level of detail around the cuticles of the fingernails.  I went to see him in my twenties, and I managed to be impressed (if my decades-old travel journal is to be believed) by the detail in the toes.  Funny what you focus on.  This time, the tour guide we had wanted us to look at the two eyes independently.  It was a good tip, too.  His right eye almost looked afraid, while his left eye looked to be plotting and scheming.  What am amazing thing to be able to pull out of a block of marble.  

After David, Jeff and Reema went off to the Uffizi.  They had purchased tickets in advance, and those tickets were time-stamped.  Cas and I had no such tickets, and I was feeling a little museumed-out.  The Basilica, the Academy- sometimes, you need to hit refresh.  Leave it to Cas to find the perfect thing.  There was an interactive DaVinci museum near the Duomo.  It was a spot where people (mostly families with kids) can touch and play with representations of Leonardo’s inventions.  I was feeling pretty tired, but it was worth the visit.  

From there, we stopped at a sidewalk cafe near the Duomo and had a drink.  That sounds so cool, I want to say it again.  We stopped at a sidewalk cafe near the Duomo and had a drink.  See?  Sounds awesome.  After that, we had a pizza dinner while listening to a street performer play Spanish style guitar just a few feet away from the aforementioned Duomo.  It was such a full day that we were happy to get back to the hotel early and decompress.  We have an early start today as we head off to San Gimigano and Siena.  It was listed as a tour of Tuscan hill towns.  Sounds fun- I will tell you about it when we get back…  Here we go!